Several weeks ago in Parashat Toldot I mentioned the idea that who your friends are has a significant impact on who you are. With the return of sibling rivalry between Yaakov and Esav in this week's parasha, we see a similar theme...
Vayishlach begins with Yaakov sending angels to Esav in an attempt to make ammends with him. The angels return with frightening news - Esav is on his way to kill Yaakov!! After enacting some clever military strategies, Yaakov makes a plea to Hashem: "Rescue me, please, from the hand of my brother - from the hand of Esav."
This pasuk seems a bit redundant. Why did Yaakov feel the need to specify that Esav was his brother? Surely Hashem knew their relationship! Why couldn't Yaakov simply ask Hashem to either "save me from my brother" or "save me from Esav" - why the repetition?! The answer is that Yaakov was requesting two different types of savior.
Yaakov's latter request to be saved from Esav was exactly what one would interpret it to be - a savior from physical attack. Yaakov was asking Hashem to physically protect him so that Esav could not harm him. However, Yaakov's initial request to be saved from the hands of his brother was an entirely different type of harm - one that is much more dangerous!
Yaakov feared that, rather than Esav harming him, he might play the role of "brother" to him. He feared that Esav might come into his home and influence his family. From this Yaakov wanted even more protection than from death!
Yaakov was on his way to meet Esav and plead for forgiveness. He knew that this encounter would end in one of two ways. Either Esav would refuse and kill him - hence the second request or Esav would accept his apology now want to dwell with him. Though Esav was his brother, Yaakov understood the dangers of having him around his family and the negative impacts Esav could potentially have on them.
Chas v'Shalom, I'm not suggesting that one ignore their family - I'm not even limiting this concept to family!! The message in this parasha, however, is a very powerful one. We see from Yaakov's plea that even more dangerous than somebody wanting to harm us physically is their wanting to harm us spiritually.
It is imperative in life that one realize the impact we can have on others and, more importantly, the impact others can have one us...
Shabbat Shalom!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
The Power of Emunah (Parashat Vayeitzei)
I would like to begin by wishing a HUGE mazal tov to my sister and brother-in-law on the birth of their new daughter on Tuesday. This weeks' D'var Torah is written in her honor.
Parashat Vayeitzei begins with Yaakov journeying to Haran. Along the way, he comes upon a well where he meets Rachel. She brings Yaakov home to her father Laban and, ultimately, an agreement is made for Yaakov to work seven years in exchange for Rachel as a wife.
Yaakov's seven years came and went quickly due to his love for Rachel. He approached Laban and a wedding was made. However, Laban tricked Yaakov and - instead of delivering Rachel - delivered Leah. The next morning Yaakov realized he had been deceived. But why didn't he realize it that night? Rashi explains that Yaakov had given Rachel signs by which she could identify herself to him. When Rachel saw Leah being brought to Yaakov, she didn't want Leah to be humiliated so she taught her the signs.
When Yaakov asked Laban why he gave him Leah, Laban explained that it wouldn't be appropriate to marry off his younger daughter before the older one. He offers Yaakov to work another seven years and receive Rachel at that point - Yaakov agrees.
A few questions stand out to me:
- Yaakov teaches Rachel signs because he anticipated that Laban might try to trick him. If so, why make a deal with him in the first place?
- Rachel loved Yaakov and was certainly upset that Leah was being given as a wife instead. How did she manage to muster up the strength to teach her signs to Leah?
- After already being deceived once by Laban, why would Yaakov be willing to make another agreement with him?
Years ago, I had a co-worker who - on a Friday afternoon - walked out of the office to find that his car was missing. He came back in and, with a calm voice and face, told us that his car had been stolen. A third worker and I frantically ran outside to see what had happened. The third worker and I went into a frenzy while the worker whose car was missing remained calm through it all. Finally, the third worker turned to the one whose car was missing and yelled "your car was just stolen, how are you so calm about this??". He replied "if this is what Hashem wants, what is me getting upset going to accomplish?"
WOW!! What powerful words!! This individual realized that, for whatever reason, Hashem willed it to be this way and - in the longrun - all would work it. (It did work out, his car wasn't stolen - simply towed due to unpaid tickets by the previous owner)
The answer to my previously posed questions is that both Yaakov and Rachel had emunah in Hashem that whatever happened would be the way He wanted it - and so they went along with the plan. If we could all live our lives on such a level, imagine how much happier we could be!!
My father a"h was niftar on February 19, 2012. My niece was born on November 20, 2012 - exactly 9 months and 1 day later. From this too, we see that just as Hashem takes a life, He gives ones as well and everything is done with a plan.
My niece was named Emunah - how appropriate!!
Parashat Vayeitzei begins with Yaakov journeying to Haran. Along the way, he comes upon a well where he meets Rachel. She brings Yaakov home to her father Laban and, ultimately, an agreement is made for Yaakov to work seven years in exchange for Rachel as a wife.
Yaakov's seven years came and went quickly due to his love for Rachel. He approached Laban and a wedding was made. However, Laban tricked Yaakov and - instead of delivering Rachel - delivered Leah. The next morning Yaakov realized he had been deceived. But why didn't he realize it that night? Rashi explains that Yaakov had given Rachel signs by which she could identify herself to him. When Rachel saw Leah being brought to Yaakov, she didn't want Leah to be humiliated so she taught her the signs.
When Yaakov asked Laban why he gave him Leah, Laban explained that it wouldn't be appropriate to marry off his younger daughter before the older one. He offers Yaakov to work another seven years and receive Rachel at that point - Yaakov agrees.
A few questions stand out to me:
- Yaakov teaches Rachel signs because he anticipated that Laban might try to trick him. If so, why make a deal with him in the first place?
- Rachel loved Yaakov and was certainly upset that Leah was being given as a wife instead. How did she manage to muster up the strength to teach her signs to Leah?
- After already being deceived once by Laban, why would Yaakov be willing to make another agreement with him?
Years ago, I had a co-worker who - on a Friday afternoon - walked out of the office to find that his car was missing. He came back in and, with a calm voice and face, told us that his car had been stolen. A third worker and I frantically ran outside to see what had happened. The third worker and I went into a frenzy while the worker whose car was missing remained calm through it all. Finally, the third worker turned to the one whose car was missing and yelled "your car was just stolen, how are you so calm about this??". He replied "if this is what Hashem wants, what is me getting upset going to accomplish?"
WOW!! What powerful words!! This individual realized that, for whatever reason, Hashem willed it to be this way and - in the longrun - all would work it. (It did work out, his car wasn't stolen - simply towed due to unpaid tickets by the previous owner)
The answer to my previously posed questions is that both Yaakov and Rachel had emunah in Hashem that whatever happened would be the way He wanted it - and so they went along with the plan. If we could all live our lives on such a level, imagine how much happier we could be!!
My father a"h was niftar on February 19, 2012. My niece was born on November 20, 2012 - exactly 9 months and 1 day later. From this too, we see that just as Hashem takes a life, He gives ones as well and everything is done with a plan.
My niece was named Emunah - how appropriate!!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Choose Your Friends Wisely (Parashat Toldot)
This weeks' parasha - among other things - discusses Rivkas' pregnancy wifh Yaakov and Esav. Apparently, it was a very difficult pregnancy. Rashi explains that every time Rivka would pass by a House of Torah, Yaakov would toss and turn inside of her in an attempt to get out. Every time she would pass by a House of Idol Worship, Esav would toss and turn inside of her in an attempt to get out. While at face-value this makes sense - there is on aspect that bothers me...
We are taught that while a child is in his/her mother's womb, there is an angel with them teaching the entire Torah. Upon birth, the angel touches the child just above the lip (that's the indentation we have) and all of the Torah is forgotten. That being the case, it would seem that Yaakov had the greatest Rebbe one could ever ask for - so why would he be in such a rush to get out??
The answer is, while Yaakov may have had a great Rebbe - he had a horrible chavrusa!! Yaakov knew that despite his great teacher, as long as he was learning alongside Esav he would never be able to grow. From this we learn a very valuable lesson - the company we keep has a great impact on the people we become.
Shabbat Shalom!
We are taught that while a child is in his/her mother's womb, there is an angel with them teaching the entire Torah. Upon birth, the angel touches the child just above the lip (that's the indentation we have) and all of the Torah is forgotten. That being the case, it would seem that Yaakov had the greatest Rebbe one could ever ask for - so why would he be in such a rush to get out??
The answer is, while Yaakov may have had a great Rebbe - he had a horrible chavrusa!! Yaakov knew that despite his great teacher, as long as he was learning alongside Esav he would never be able to grow. From this we learn a very valuable lesson - the company we keep has a great impact on the people we become.
Shabbat Shalom!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Parashat Chayei Sarah
After burying Sarah, Avraham sends his servant Eliezer on a mission to seek out a wife for Yitzchak. When he sends Eliezer on this mission, he makes him take an oath that he will not take a wife for him from Canaan. Rather, he instructs him to go to Haran and find a wife from there.
Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein asks why Avraham would insist Eliezer to choose a wife from among a group of people as evil as Haran. In fact, Rashi comments that Lavan was so wicked "he leaped to answer ahead of his father." Surely Avraham was aware of the lack of morals in Haran - so why want a wife from there?
R' Wallerstein answers this question that while the people of Haran may have been wicked - they were wicked to the core!! In other words, they could not be persuaded one way or the other regarding their beliefs no matter what they were offered. The people of Canaan, on the other hand, could easily be persuaded.
Avraham knew that the day would come where B'nei Yisrael would be faced by assimilation. As such, we needed a trait like the people of Haran - we needed the stubbornness to be steadfast in our ways and not waiver. Rivka Imeinu gives us this trait. Had Yitzchak's wife come from Canaan, we would not have it.
To bring this message home, I remember while I was learning in Yeshiva in Israel having a conversation with one of my Rebbeim. I presented him with a question to which he responded "what has enabled Klal Yisrael to last as long as we have, b"ah, is the fact that we do not assimilate".
I guess Avraham Avinu got his wish...
Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein asks why Avraham would insist Eliezer to choose a wife from among a group of people as evil as Haran. In fact, Rashi comments that Lavan was so wicked "he leaped to answer ahead of his father." Surely Avraham was aware of the lack of morals in Haran - so why want a wife from there?
R' Wallerstein answers this question that while the people of Haran may have been wicked - they were wicked to the core!! In other words, they could not be persuaded one way or the other regarding their beliefs no matter what they were offered. The people of Canaan, on the other hand, could easily be persuaded.
Avraham knew that the day would come where B'nei Yisrael would be faced by assimilation. As such, we needed a trait like the people of Haran - we needed the stubbornness to be steadfast in our ways and not waiver. Rivka Imeinu gives us this trait. Had Yitzchak's wife come from Canaan, we would not have it.
To bring this message home, I remember while I was learning in Yeshiva in Israel having a conversation with one of my Rebbeim. I presented him with a question to which he responded "what has enabled Klal Yisrael to last as long as we have, b"ah, is the fact that we do not assimilate".
I guess Avraham Avinu got his wish...
Shabbat Shalom!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Parashat Vayeira
This weeks' Parasha - VaYeira - marks the 15th anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah. It also marks the first anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah since my father was niftar. This will be the first year that, after leining maftir (b"eH), I am not greeted by a handshake and a kiss from my father upon returning to my seat. I have no doubt that this will be a difficult shabbos.....
There are many occurances of great significance in VaYeira - Avraham is visited by the 3 angels, Sarah becomes pregnant and gives birth, S'dom is destroyed and, of course, Yitzchak is sacrificed (well, almost...).
Avraham was 100 and Sarah 99 when Yitzchak was born to them. It would seem strange for Hashem to make them wait so long for a child only to then have the child sacrificed. Certainly, it would seem that Avraham must have misinterpreted Hashem's instructions. After all, who would want to sacrifice their "only" (Avraham had another child with Hagar) child that they waited a century to have?? And yet, upon hearing Hashem's words, Avraham went without hesitation.
Personally, I consider myself to be a G-d fearing Jew. I like to think that I do what I'm supposed to and I do it properly. When faced with a choice between right and wrong - I believe I choose right. That said, I can't deny the fact that, when faced with a very difficult choice, I sometimes look for a valid "reason" why I should choose the path that I prefer rather than the correct path. I think many people do this. We try to justify our actions by arguing this, that and the other. The reality is though, we aren't the ones justifying our actions - the Yetzer Hara is!
Picture the following scenario: You're walking into the supermarket with just enough cash on you to pay for your intended purchase (you also have a credit card on you with plenty to spend). As you approach the entrance, a poor man sticks out his hand and asks if you can spare some money. Ideally, you would smile at him and hand him a few dollars. Sadly though, many of us would tell the man we have nothing to offer and justify it by thinking "I only have enough cash for my purchase" - neglecting the credit card I mentioned earlier that's in our pocket.
This is a perfect example of where we use reason to pass up the opportunity to do a mitzvah. Rather, it's a perfect example of where the Yetzer Hara uses reason to convince us not to do a mitzvah.
All our lives, we are taught of how cunning the Yetzer Hara is. We are told to beware of his logic - as the excuses he gives us will always seem valid. Nonetheless, time and time again we fall victim to his tricks and pass up on these precious opportunities.
The midrash teaches us that, while enroute to sacrifice Yitzchak, the Satan approached Avraham in an attempt to deter him from his task. During the encounter, the Satan continued to present Avraham with reason after reason as to why he should retreat - all of them valid. Avraham, however, was determined to serve Hashem and continued to press forward.
May we all be zoche to gain the dedication and devotion that Avraham possessed so that, we too, can fight passed the Yetzer Hara and in the merit of these mitzvot may Mashiach come speedily in our days.
Shabbat Shalom!
There are many occurances of great significance in VaYeira - Avraham is visited by the 3 angels, Sarah becomes pregnant and gives birth, S'dom is destroyed and, of course, Yitzchak is sacrificed (well, almost...).
Avraham was 100 and Sarah 99 when Yitzchak was born to them. It would seem strange for Hashem to make them wait so long for a child only to then have the child sacrificed. Certainly, it would seem that Avraham must have misinterpreted Hashem's instructions. After all, who would want to sacrifice their "only" (Avraham had another child with Hagar) child that they waited a century to have?? And yet, upon hearing Hashem's words, Avraham went without hesitation.
Personally, I consider myself to be a G-d fearing Jew. I like to think that I do what I'm supposed to and I do it properly. When faced with a choice between right and wrong - I believe I choose right. That said, I can't deny the fact that, when faced with a very difficult choice, I sometimes look for a valid "reason" why I should choose the path that I prefer rather than the correct path. I think many people do this. We try to justify our actions by arguing this, that and the other. The reality is though, we aren't the ones justifying our actions - the Yetzer Hara is!
Picture the following scenario: You're walking into the supermarket with just enough cash on you to pay for your intended purchase (you also have a credit card on you with plenty to spend). As you approach the entrance, a poor man sticks out his hand and asks if you can spare some money. Ideally, you would smile at him and hand him a few dollars. Sadly though, many of us would tell the man we have nothing to offer and justify it by thinking "I only have enough cash for my purchase" - neglecting the credit card I mentioned earlier that's in our pocket.
This is a perfect example of where we use reason to pass up the opportunity to do a mitzvah. Rather, it's a perfect example of where the Yetzer Hara uses reason to convince us not to do a mitzvah.
All our lives, we are taught of how cunning the Yetzer Hara is. We are told to beware of his logic - as the excuses he gives us will always seem valid. Nonetheless, time and time again we fall victim to his tricks and pass up on these precious opportunities.
The midrash teaches us that, while enroute to sacrifice Yitzchak, the Satan approached Avraham in an attempt to deter him from his task. During the encounter, the Satan continued to present Avraham with reason after reason as to why he should retreat - all of them valid. Avraham, however, was determined to serve Hashem and continued to press forward.
May we all be zoche to gain the dedication and devotion that Avraham possessed so that, we too, can fight passed the Yetzer Hara and in the merit of these mitzvot may Mashiach come speedily in our days.
Shabbat Shalom!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Parashat Lech Lecha (a bit late...)
Parashat Lech Lecha begins with Hashem instructing Avram to gather his family and leave their land (lech lecha meiartzecha). The common explanation for this pasuk is that this command was one of the 10 tests that Hashem had given to Avraham. However, I'd like to offer an alternate explanation...
As a Rebbe in a High School, I am often presented by my students with the challenge of "prove to me that G-d exists." When I offer them scriptural proofs (a favorite of mine is Hashem's promise that you should rest your field in the shmittah year and that he will provide you with enough crop in the 6th year to last you into the 8th), they tell me that they don't want scripture. Rather, they want something physical, something tangible - they want "a miracle."
We are taught that Nimrod attempted to kill Avraham Avinu by throwing him into a furnace. Miraculously, Avraham emerged unscathed by the incident. It is after this episode that Hashem instructs him to leave his land. The timing of all this doesn't seem to make any sense!! Avraham had been trying so hard to spread the truth of Hashem to the rest of the people, surely upon seeing him emerge from a fire they would be ready to heed his words - why send him someplace else to begin his work all over again??
The answer to this question is the same answer to my students' request. True, upon seeing Avraham emerge from the fire unharmed, the people would be ready to accept Hashem. However, they wouldn't be accepting Him because they believed him to be Emet (truth) - they would be accepting him because they just watched Avraham walk out of a pit of fire. They would be willing to accept ANYTHING Avraham told them at this point!! Having just witnessed this miracle, everyone would now be inspired to accept Hashem into their lives. The problem with inspiration is that it runs out. In order to truly accept Hashem into one's life, they must do so out of truth. If we simply accept him based on an inspirational story or incident (a miracle), then the acceptance will not be permanent. It will last us a short while but, eventually, we will need another inspiration or miracle to take it's place if we are to continue believing. If we don't get that inspiration, then our belief will be lost.
Hashem instructs Avraham to leave his land and start over because He is teaching us that we shouldn't base our religious belief or practice on the "wow factor." Upon leaving Haran, Avraham and Sara spread the name of Hashem by welcoming travelers into their home and teaching them the truth of Hashem. They took the wow factor out of the picture!
The message here is very profound: if we are to have a relationship with Hashem, we must establish that relationship by seeking out answers. We do so by attending classes, studying Torah, etc. The relationship cannot simply be built on inspiration - for if it is, that relationship will surely dwindle in time.
Lech Lecha Meiartzecha - leave your land (and the miracle) behind and go someplace new, where you can teach the truth of Hashem, not the wow factor...
As a Rebbe in a High School, I am often presented by my students with the challenge of "prove to me that G-d exists." When I offer them scriptural proofs (a favorite of mine is Hashem's promise that you should rest your field in the shmittah year and that he will provide you with enough crop in the 6th year to last you into the 8th), they tell me that they don't want scripture. Rather, they want something physical, something tangible - they want "a miracle."
We are taught that Nimrod attempted to kill Avraham Avinu by throwing him into a furnace. Miraculously, Avraham emerged unscathed by the incident. It is after this episode that Hashem instructs him to leave his land. The timing of all this doesn't seem to make any sense!! Avraham had been trying so hard to spread the truth of Hashem to the rest of the people, surely upon seeing him emerge from a fire they would be ready to heed his words - why send him someplace else to begin his work all over again??
The answer to this question is the same answer to my students' request. True, upon seeing Avraham emerge from the fire unharmed, the people would be ready to accept Hashem. However, they wouldn't be accepting Him because they believed him to be Emet (truth) - they would be accepting him because they just watched Avraham walk out of a pit of fire. They would be willing to accept ANYTHING Avraham told them at this point!! Having just witnessed this miracle, everyone would now be inspired to accept Hashem into their lives. The problem with inspiration is that it runs out. In order to truly accept Hashem into one's life, they must do so out of truth. If we simply accept him based on an inspirational story or incident (a miracle), then the acceptance will not be permanent. It will last us a short while but, eventually, we will need another inspiration or miracle to take it's place if we are to continue believing. If we don't get that inspiration, then our belief will be lost.
Hashem instructs Avraham to leave his land and start over because He is teaching us that we shouldn't base our religious belief or practice on the "wow factor." Upon leaving Haran, Avraham and Sara spread the name of Hashem by welcoming travelers into their home and teaching them the truth of Hashem. They took the wow factor out of the picture!
The message here is very profound: if we are to have a relationship with Hashem, we must establish that relationship by seeking out answers. We do so by attending classes, studying Torah, etc. The relationship cannot simply be built on inspiration - for if it is, that relationship will surely dwindle in time.
Lech Lecha Meiartzecha - leave your land (and the miracle) behind and go someplace new, where you can teach the truth of Hashem, not the wow factor...
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